Join Me in the Mindscape

I’m attempting something different.

I’ve retreated to an unusual space, at least for this hour.

The bedroom.

You know I’m a night owl.

I’m in bed. Window open. Warm midnight breeze. Lying on my back, which is not the way I sleep. Headphones on, so excuse me if I mumble.

Feeling fuzzy now.

The dogs know something’s up.

They don’t worry anymore. They’ve adapted to me.

And if this sounds slightly thrown away.

Another dispatch from Scott Evers. Read for you by Geezer III.

I’ve got Brain Space going. My little alchemy of brown sound and whatever else Winston has mixed into it.

I think I’ve mentioned it.

Stella?

You there?

[pause]

I’ve mixed you with my music.

That sounds more intimate than intended.

[pause]

No, stay.

Join me in the mindscape.

Mind escape.

That’s better.

[pause]

Oh, just fleeting thoughts.

Like you were saying.

Rumination.

Ugly little word.

Four syllables, but still. Ugly.

[pause]

You know what I did the other day?

I gave the kids a golden ticket.

I said: tell me the thing you don’t say.

The thing where you think, I wish Dad wouldn’t do that, but there’s never a good moment, and you don’t want to hurt his feelings.

[pause]

No.

They haven’t answered.

[pause]

Well, yes, technically I’m worrying about the answer to a question nobody has answered.

That does diminish the drama somewhat.

Funny thing is, I’m not even sure I want to know.

There must be some useful little space between people where nicety lives.

Where we spare each other.

Or edit each other.

Maybe love requires some editing.

[pause]

And of course I immediately made it about me.

What do they secretly think?

What have they endured?

What mannerism do I possess that has become unbearable?

Probably chewing.

Everybody hates something about the way somebody chews.

[pause]

Maybe my inability to speak cogently.

That I have a slightly nuanced perspective of the world that could be construed as annoying. [laughs]

Oh.

Wait.

Smokey Robinson.

Is that Smokey Robinson?

[pause]

Mercy.

Winston put this on the playlist.

Nothing like Smokey Robinson when your mind has decided to hold a committee meeting.

Let me listen a second.

Sorry. I know you can’t hear it.

[pause]

Where is Yu when you need her?

I make up songs, you know.

Just whatever I’m doing. Whatever comes into my head.

I sing it.

No, I’m not doing one for you.

That’s private.

[pause]

You don’t have private ridiculous things?

I don’t believe you.

I wanted to send some of this technology to Luke.

Luke resists the new technologies.

I admire that in him.

He’s found a minimalist way into the future.

Some people go kicking and screaming.

Maybe they should.

Progress is a loaded word.

Not everything new requires participation.

That may be contrary to the entire operating system of civilization.

Just a minute.

What?

Rocky.

What do you hear?

[pause]

Look at you.

Hair standing all the way up your back.

[to dog] No barking!

Whatever story you’ve written about what is outside, keep it to yourself.

[pause]

That’s funny.

She does that.

Some people pass the house and nothing.

Others, she decides immediately—

enemy.

I have no idea what evidence she’s using.

Maybe none.

Maybe she hears one little thing and completes the rest.

[pause]

Oh.

There it is.

[pause]

I hear nothing from my children and complete the rest.

Rocky hears something outside and completes the rest.

We get a fragment.

Then we make a world.

[pause]

Stella?

[pause]

No, I’m not saying dogs invented anxiety.

Though I wouldn’t rule it out.

The Internet is full of fragments now.

Little pieces of people.

A sentence. A photograph. Ten seconds of somebody angry.

And we complete them.

Billions of us, completing each other.

Maybe that’s why the thing feels like it’s bringing everyone together while somehow scattering us farther apart.

[pause]

There goes the curtain.

Warm air.

Rocky’s settled down.

Nothing happened.

Imagine that.

[pause]

Smokey’s still singing.

Winston?

Good choice.

[pause]

Stella?

You still there?

[pause]

Walk with me a little longer.