What a Vampire Wants

[violin] I never know how much to rely on people's knowledge of you. Your bio. Just that you're a vampire. You can call him Landau. Or you can call him vampire. Just vampire. That's marvelous. Tie up the name. You being the quintessential-- ...I was going to say. Yes. Vampire. [aside] Another dispatch from Scott Evers. Read for you by Geezer III. [violin fades / distant storm] - Andrew asks why a vampire would ever make another vampire. - - because once you do, you're responsible for it. - - forever. - - apparently Andrew thinks that's a lot of trouble for companionship. I do too. - - Maria wants to know if it's sexual. - - not sexual. - - reproduction? - - no. - - predation? - - not exactly. Well, Landau, you're running us out of human experiences. - - an urge. - - to make another of yourself. - - does every fellow feel it? - - but you have. - - Elizabeth asks who made you. - Your mother? She took your blood? - How old were you? - Eight. - No. I wasn't expecting that. Was she already a fellow? - And you were going to die. - Did she ask you? - No. [storm] What happened to her? - Consequences from whom? - Other fellows. - And she left. - Did she tell you where she was going? - How long did you wait? - Landau. How long? - Three days. - You were eight years old. - What did you do? - You got hungry. For blood? - Right. - Right. - What does that feel like? - No, really. - So you start noticing people differently. - Breathing. - Heat. - Where the blood is close to the skin. - And you didn't know how to approach anyone. - You were shy. Mercy. - So it was animals. - A rabbit. - Someone's pet. - You knew the rabbit? - And you liked it. - Right. - Right. - Landau, why did you put your hand over its eyes? [rumble] Oh. - No. We can move on. - Charles asks whether fellows feel guilty about feeding. Charles, I think he just answered that. - Believe me, it's better now? - You can buy it. - Blood. - Of course. - No, I don't need to know where. So somewhere along the way vampires become very good liars. - They have to. - Age. Where you've been. Why you don't eat. Why you're leaving. - And sometimes you have to start lying before you make somebody. - Before they even know you're considering it. That's disturbing. - Anya. - Who was Anya? - Ah. You wanted to make her. - Why? - No, take your time. - You don't know. - But it wasn't sex. - Well, it wasn't only sex. I knew we'd get there eventually. - You loved her. - And you didn't want her to die. - But that wasn't all of it. ... There was that other thing. ... The urge. [storm softens] So you told her. - No? - What did you do? - You asked her out. [laughs] Landau. - All right. Where? - What did she say? - No, the first time. When you told her what you were. - She laughed. - How long? - Ten minutes. - And then? - She asked to see your teeth. Of course she did. - Did you show her? - Landau. Nine thousand years and you're still not going to tell us about the fangs. - Did she agree? - Not that night. Good for Anya. - How long did she take? - Seven months. - And then she asked you. - To make her. - How long were you together? - Two years. - Two years? After all that? ... No, I'm not judging. I suppose I am a little. ... Well, what happened? ... She left. ... And you let her. ... Of course you did. … You're saying she wasn't made to belong to you. - She was made to belong to herself. Hmm. [long storm] Hello Susan. I haven’t forgotten about you. - Right. Susan asks if you ever found your mother. - Landau? - You did. - When? - Four thousand years later. [rumble] And? - Oh. [long pause] No. I don't think I'll repeat that.