The Witches of Cottuff

[dog pacing]

[muttering] ...no darlin'. ...yes. oh? ...no.

—there was a ghost in the house last night. —right, Rusty. —no, it wasn’t a negative presence. But it was certainly willing to show itself. —the dogs went crazy. —well, sit down. I’ll tell you about it. Go ahead and get your tea. I’ve got a Q-tip. [footsteps] Another dispatch from Scott Evers. Read for you by Geezer III. —hmm. —nothing. Thought I had something in there. —Stella, do you know Gina Welsh? —now that's Naïka. —well, yes, everybody’s been talking about her. —I can’t really say it without feeling like I’m being politically irresponsible. — —thank you. You said it. —a witch. —there, now I’ve said it. —so that’s three. —you. —oh, come on. You have an extraordinary intuition about people. Wouldn’t you agree? —I think you do. But it came naturally to you, didn’t it? You don’t conduct rituals. You notice somebody’s shoes and know they’re getting divorced. [door opens] —there’s something to that. —Gina’s different. Gina knows things she couldn’t have picked up from your shoes. Bonafide psychic around these parts. People drive over from Barstow and come home knowing where their mother hid the insurance papers. —allegedly. —and then there’s Naïka. — —yes, that Naïka. —she calls herself a witch. Has for years. I respect the clarity. Saves everybody the trouble of doing it behind her back. [dog collar shakes] —but hers feels a little darker. —not evil. I didn’t say evil. More like she believes circumstances can be…encouraged. Other people’s circumstances. —I don’t know how else to put it. —somebody said she buried a photograph under a dying tree and the man in it moved to Oregon. —well, people move to Oregon every day. That’s why I’m withholding judgment. [footsteps continue] —I bring up Gina because she is putting together a little cadre of sorts. I don’t know what she’s up to, but she wants me in this group of hers. —what I have to offer, I don’t know. These are gifted people. —allegedly. —I talk for seven minutes a night. —well, yes, you’re right about that. There are another fourteen hundred and thirty-three minutes left in a day. —are you looking for an accounting? You wouldn’t believe how often I forget to clock in. —sure, it takes time to write. Yes, it takes time to put together. —now don’t ask about my part as reader of these diabolical scripts because that has us enter a dimensional conundrum, and I’m standing in the hallway in my socks. [floor creaks] —I want to say yes, Gina has some power. There’s no doubt in my mind. —no, I don’t think that gives her a responsibility to anybody. I wouldn’t want to work with the police either. —well, if that’s not your bag, we do have the freedom to choose what we do. —Naïka is another story. I’m open-minded about the eventuality of any given person becoming something unique in society, and witches would be included. I just don’t know enough about her. —but if Gina wants her in the cadre, that means something to me. —so I’ll venture in with an adventurous spirit. [three soft steps; dog nails gather nearby] —now. The ghost. —first there was a strange odor. —I can’t describe it. —no, I know what something dead smells like. This had a sweetness to it. Not flowers. Not food. Sweet the way an empty room can sometimes smell occupied. —I knew you were going to say that. —no. I don’t in any way think it was Lisa. I’d feel it. —this house has had—Jesus—nearly a dozen owners. Or renters. Who knows what its history is. And I’m not one to think the spirit world works by property lines anyway. Could be attached to a dog, as far as I know. —sure, it could be attached to me. —no, I wouldn’t say it was scary. —spooky. That’s the word. Because you immediately try to explain it, and there’s no explanation. Then you imagine telling somebody and hearing how it sounds. You’d just come out of a dream. The pipes. The wind. —but none of those things were true. —the dogs noticed it too. All three of them staring at the piano. [occupied silence] There was something here last night. [single piano note] — —did you hear that? —of course. How could you? —it’s here again. —you should see the dogs. Rigid. Eyes wide. All three of them. —actually, I think it’s better I get off the line. If it’s going to happen again, I need to focus. —okay. —you bet I will. [call disconnects] Isn’t this fun. Come on, girl. Let’s see who’s sitting at the piano tonight. [footsteps; dogs follow]